


Take My Whole Life, Too

by kibumy



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Background Het, Crying, Drama, High School, M/M, School Dances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 12:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18334526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kibumy/pseuds/kibumy
Summary: Kibum's plan to confess to Jonghyun at the school dance goes horribly wrong.





	Take My Whole Life, Too

**Author's Note:**

> For the best immersion, please listen to this on repeat while reading. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo-EZSab5_4

Kibum crashed into the boys bathroom of his school’s gymnasium, the heavy beat of “Can’t Help Fallin’ In Love” drowning out the sobs and sniffles he had tried to hold back earlier. He leaned against the wall near the sinks, letting his head drop into his hands to catch the weight of his tears. Kibum’s cries trembled through his body and his legs gave out, landing himself on the floor with a thud. 

He shouldn’t have looked. He knew the boy he had feelings for was out there dancing with someone else. He knew they both were attending the dance and he knew he said he wasn’t going to go.

_ Why am I like this? What did I think would happen? Did I think that I could just waltz in there unannounced and tell Jonghyun how I felt and everything would be okay?! _ Kibum thought maliciously at himself.  _ I didn’t even get to tell him. _

 

Kibum got the crazy idea a few days before the school dance. He planned on telling Jonghyun he wasn’t going to attend but then surprise him at the dance. He wanted to get Jonghyun away from his date so he could tell him his true feelings. He thought it was a fool-proof idea without thinking of any possible outcomes.

Kibum walked himself into the gymnasium decked out in balloons and streamers and a whole bunch of pink bows and searched the dance floor for Jonghyun. He adjusted collar of his dress shirt, feeling like it was suffocating him. He nervously kept himself off to the side so he wouldn’t be seen, squinting his eyes for any trace of Jonghyun. The thump of the bass from the DJ drowned out so much of the noise it was hard for Kibum to even think straight. He spent a little while looking for Jonghyun when the loud pop song ended and a slow song began. The dancefloor cleared except for the couples who weren’t afraid to dance with their dates in public. Kibum frantically searched the leaving crowd, hoping to find Jonghyun near the snack area or sitting at a table, but he was nowhere to be found.

His heart sank as he turned to the dancefloor, looking to see if Jonghyun and his date were out slow dancing. Thankfully, they weren’t.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kibum saw him. He was holding the hand of his date who was looking at him like she’d just won the lottery. They were leaving the gymnasium, so Kibum scurried after them to see if he could get Jonghyun’s attention.

He followed them out into the hallway where he saw the couple turn the corner. Confusedly, Kibum trailed behind quietly and hid in classroom doorways so he wouldn’t be caught. He watched the two make their way to the library, a quiet and unaccessed part of the school at that hour. Jonghyun checked the handle of the entrance, and upon discovering it was still unlocked, the two slipped inside. Kibum heard the girl giggle as they entered, feeling his heart sink lower.

_ Why are they going into the library…? The dance isn’t over yet… _

Kibum quietly snuck over to the windows of the library door, peering inside. He could see the two teens near the bookshelves, talking to each other and looking each other in the eyes. Kibum’s heart pounded deeply, afraid of what they might be talking about. Should he just go home?

Kibum’s mind wanted him to leave as the thought of what he feared could happen became cloudier in his head. He wanted to turn away, to get out of the school and go home, but his feet kept him planted right where he was, spying on his best friend and his date alone in the school library.

Kibum felt the defeat hit him when she leaned forward, catching his lips with hers. He wished Jonghyun would have pushed her away, but the saltwater flooded his eyes upon seeing the look of bliss on his face, or so it seemed. He was enjoying it, and that was enough for Kibum to see. Hot tears streamed down his face and down his chin as he watched his crush delightfully kiss that girl right in front of him. Kibum covered his mouth to shush himself as he cried and turned his back on the window.

He didn’t think his night would end up like it did. He felt lost, unsure of where to go or what to do now. His love had been defeated and left him in the dust. Tears stained the front of his black dress shirt as he cried softly to himself, until the sound of the door opening behind him startled him into turning around. There in the doorway were Jonghyun and his date, staring at him in shock.

“Bum?” Jonghyun voiced, stunned to see his best friend standing before him.

Kibum had no time to hide his face, and Jonghyun could already tell he’d been crying. “Wait, what’s wrong?”

Kibum looked Jonghyun in the eyes and shook his head slowly before turning around and rushing out of there. Deep into the hallways of his school, he had no choice but to run back and hide in the bathroom before anyone could see him crying.

And that’s where he stayed, slumped against the wall in the bathroom, sobbing his eyes out into his hands. He could hear another slow song playing, and this time it was “Can’t Help Fallin’ In Love”. Great, how fitting. Kibum tried his best to catch his breath but the tears could not stop flowing. The music echoed around him in the room, choking him on his sobs.

Bum jumped up as he heard the outside bathroom door swing open, fearing who it was.

“Hey, Kibum? You in there?” Oh fuck.

Jonghyun walked slowly into the bathroom to find Kibum standing by the sinks, drenched in his own tears and hiding his face from his sight.

“Kibum, hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jonghyun approached the younger boy and put his hands on his shoulders, egging Kibum to look him in the eyes. Slowly, Kibum’s red, swollen eyes met Jonghyun’s, and the tears began flowing like a faucet again as Elvis’ voice reverberated against the walls of the bathroom.

“Jonghyun, I’m sorry... I…” Kibum managed to get out between sniffles. A look of worry struck Jonghyun’s face, making Kibum feel even worse. He swallowed his pride. “I like you, Jonghyun. I-I love you.”

Kibum looked wide-eyed for any sort of expression in response to what he’d just confessed, but Jonghyun’s face was completely frozen. He stood there, blank-faced with his hands on Kibum’s shoulders for a couple of seconds. Jonghyun slowly lowered his hands and stepped backwards away from his best friend, his face pale with shock. Before he knew it, Jonghyun was turning around and marching out of the bathroom without a word. Kibum stood there, blanched in the fluorescent lighting, shattered by the events just now. There were no reciprocated feelings, no acknowledgement of the confession, no denial, nothing. Kibum confessed his love and was left alone.

Kibum did not know Jonghyun had stopped himself in the hall outside the bathroom, hand clamped over his quivering mouth and eyes welling with tears. Jonghyun’s secret childhood crush had just confessed to him, and his stupid loss of words might have just ruined everything.

  
  
  



End file.
